If there is one thing that I learnt when I was reading ‘Mind Power’ by James Borg, it was that thoughts are not facts, this is something he really nails into your head for pretty much a whole chapter and I can see why, because it is something people need to learn, just because you think something does not make it true.
This is one of the biggest causes of misery in our lives, just think how many times have you text someone and they didn’t reply and you got p*ssed off because you think that they are ignoring you but you know this might not be the case, they could be busy and not have access to their phone, they might have lost their phone, they might have had a family emergency, the list of reasons is endless but we jump to the conclusion that they’re ignoring us and get annoyed.
Or you have an embarrassing moment while you are at work and you go home panicking that your colleagues will bring it up tomorrow and you’ll be the laughing stock of office and you’ll never live it down and start worrying. When you get in the next day there is a good chance nobody will even remember it, if they do and they do say something it’ll probably just be a one-off comment.
Just because we think we know something or think a certain thing will happen does not mean it will, we base our thoughts on our past experiences and our mindset, it does not make it fact. This is something we need to spend time working on and give up believing everything we think is fact because it just creates unwarranted stress and anxiety, you are just torturing yourself over something that might not happen.
Trust me I know this feeling better than most, as someone who suffers/suffered from anxiety this is something I used to do A LOT! I would constantly worry about going out because I thought things would go wrong and I’d create movies in my head of it going terrribly, one thing would go wrong which would lead to something else happening which would lead to something else going wrong and so on.
Okay I need to end this one now because it’s getting long, thoughts are not facts, just because you think it doesn’t not make it true, remember this especially when you’re having those negative thoughts and you will be much less stressed and anxious. For now I will leave you with this:
“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral.”
I’m sorry this is a day late again, I might start uploading blogs on Tuesday and Saturday because it fits into my schedule a lot better. Thank you for reading this and I hope you find it useful, if you did leave a like and possibly a comment. I blog twice a week so hit the follow button if you want to keep up to date with my content. Thanks again and I will see you on Tuesday. Ciao!
Okay first off lets start by saying I’m not sponsored by Dr Pepper, I just love their tagline! But seriously what is the worst that could happen? This is something I find I am asking myself more and more just as of recently especially since I am trying to be more positive and happier. So if you have been following this blog for a while then you will know I have suffered from anxiety for many years and as of recently when I started being more positive it has massively improved.
This little question has been a big part of me lowering my anxiety and doing things that I wouldn’t normally do, and it is something I encourage all of you to try as well. If something scares you or makes you feel uncomfortable then do it, as they say feel the fear but do it anyway. I have learnt that doing the things that scare you is how you grow as a person and find out more about yourself, you grow from doing sh*t that scares you, sure you may be scared at the time but once it is done and you look back on it and think “I did that” there is a huge amount of self confidence that can be gained from it.
It is almost guaranteed that whatever that event or situation is, it will not be as scary once you are doing it, the build up to something is usually far worse than the actual event itself, even if the event is scary you will benefit from that afterwards, you will be well on your way to conquer that fear.
Because of this I now try to do things that scare me, things that may seem like small acts to others but are usually things that would terrify me. First I changed my look by getting a new hairstyle, first time in about 15 years I’ve had a different hairstyle so I was naturally abit nervous at first but I did it and I love my new look. Then I tried contact lenses, for anyone who knows me you will know I have a thing when it comes to eyes, I am very squeamish when it comes to eyes and I never thought I’d be able to wear contacts but I did it, I just thought “F*ck it” and went for it, now although I didn’t keep the contacts I am able to touch my eyes no problem whereas before I would have freaked out trying to do that.
I also recently posted my blog picture and linked my blog up with my Instagram account, I am naturally a very shy and quiet person, I NEVER post on social media as a general rule so to announce to all my friends and the rest of Instagram that I have a blog and they could check it out by following the link, that was huge for me and I kept doubting whether I should do it or not but then again I just went for it and I am so glad I did.
Okay I am rambling on again so I will bring this to a close, I am going to set you a task, this week I want you to do something you wouldn’t normally do. Something that scares you whether that is going on a roller coaster or on something that’s very tall if you are afraid of heights, or volunteering to do that speech at college/work. Anything that you wouldn’t normally do… just do it this time and once you have done it look back at it and just think “I did that” and give yourself a pat on the back. Trust me if you start doing this you will become much more self confident and you will grow from it. You will also open yourself up to new opportunities that you would otherwise have been too scared to do.
Before I rabbit on anymore I am going to leave you with this:
“Psychology says: Go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that’s going to help you grow.”
Thank you very much for reading this one, please have a go at my little challenge and let me know how you got on with it in the comments. Hit like if you enjoyed it and want to see more content like this, I post twice a week so follow me if you would like to be updated every time I post. Thanks again and as usual I will see you on Friday. Ciao!
So we are all human, none of us are perfect, one way in which we are not perfect in is controlling our anger. At some point we have all lost our temper and lashed out, possibly said or did something that you didn’t mean and probably left the situation feeling regret. That quick outburst just because you were angry can put massive strain on relationships, possibly even end friendships, could get you in trouble with your boss, there is no limit to the negative effects just a few seconds of lashing out can cause.
Obviously this is something you want to avoid, so how do you do this? Don’t react straight away, when someone says something that angers you, stop yourself, bite your tongue if you have to, stop yourself from saying anything and think about what you are going to say. Remind yourself that you don’t want to say anything that you will later regret, an angry outburst might be what you want to do and might make you feel better in the moment but it will very soon have repercussions and you will probably regret saying whatever you said.
One piece advice you often hear is to count to 10 in your head, this is a very good technique for calming yourself down and not reacting when your anger is at its peak, allow yourself to calm down, let the anger subside before you reply. This will save you from straining relationships and losing friends over stupid things as well as saving many future headaches.
What you have to understand is people reflect back whatever they receive, for example if you ask someone a question politely then you will likely receive a polite answer, however if you are rude to that person then that person is just going to think “f*ck you” and be rude back to you or withhold the information from you.
Lets take a shopping experience as an example, say you are in a shop in a desperate rush as you have work in 20 minutes, you are looking for an item but are unable to find it so you walk up to a shop assistant and ask them where that product is, if you walk up to them full of anger because you are stressing that you are going to be late and talk to the shop assistant like crap then they will very likely give you crappy customer service and will just point you in the general direction of the product or just tell you they have none in stock. However if you walk up to them and politely ask for that product then they will likely walk you over to it and possibly quickly check the back for you if none are on the shelf.
Being polite and well composed at all times and not letting your anger get the better of you will always serve you better than if you let it take hold and you lash out. Hope you enjoyed this one, I will leave you with this:
“A moment of patience in a moment of anger saves a thousand moments of regret”
Thank you ever so much for reading this one and I hope I helped you to think more carefully about what you say when you are angry and not to let your emotions control you. Leave a like if you enjoyed it and possibly a comment to let me know what you think. Follow my blog if you would like to keep up to date with all the posts I upload. Thank you again and I hope to see you this Friday. Ciao!
February 14th huh? Valentines day, right.. So for some people today is all about showing love to their partner and spoiling them buying them a card or roses or whatever, this is all well and good but for others it can be a very lonely day. I am single and have been for a long time so I know what it feels like to be someone who has no-one to be with or spoil or be spoilt by on Valentines day, so I know exactly how lonely it makes some people feel especially if that individual has just come out of a relationship.
So I want you to do something, a little task that will take you minutes but will completely brighten up somebodies day. Write out a message, a kind sweet heartfelt message to a close friend who is single and show them how much you love them. This is something I do, I am constantly reminding my close friends how much I care with random little gestures and messages because receiving one of these messages just makes you smile and lets you know there is someone who loves you and cares about you.
I encourage all of you reading this to start doing it as well, especially today when those people possibly feel at their most fragile and loneliest. Not only does it make them feel good and could brighten up their entire day but it makes you feel good too as well as strengthening that friendship.
There is enough misery and heartache in the world, if I can do a small thing like this and improve the mood of somebody that I love then why wouldn’t I?
Spread the love guys, make somebodies day! On that note I shall leave you with this:
“Taking care of the people you love is one of the most rewarding feelings ever. Do it as often as possible”
Thank you for reading this one, sorry it is a bit shorter than usual but I feel I have said everything I needed to. Hope it encouraged you to reach out and message someone you love and tell them how much they mean to you. Leave a like if you enjoyed it and want more content like it, possibly leave a comment to let me know what you thought. Thanks again and I hope to see you on Friday. Ciao!
*WARNING – SOME PEOPLE MAY BE TRIGGERED WITH THIS POST AS IT IS INCREDIBLY BLUNT BUT I FEEL LIKE IT IS NEEDED*
You’re going to die some day, one day we will all pass away, you only have this one life. MAKE THE MOST OF IT!!
No matter what you plan on doing there will always be someone standing there saying why, you want to lose weight? “Why would you want to do that? Controlling what you eat and doing exercise”. You want to start up your own business? “Why? Giving up your secure job knowing you’ll get paid every month”. You want to make a movie? “Why? That’s not going to get you anywhere and nobody else is doing it”.
Why the f*ck not? You only have this one life. You have this one life to accomplish as much as you can, you have this one life to help as many people as possible, you have this one life to live to your full potential. Why waste it?
You can do anything you want, the only thing stopping you from getting there is yourself. When you’re laying there on your death bed taking your final breathes going over your life in your head, do you want regrets? Do you want to be laying there wishing you’d do this and that, wishing you’d started that business, wishing you’d been healthier and prevented yourself being ill, wishing you’d climbed Mount Everest, wishing you’d asked that girl out, wishing you’d been brave enough to make that big speech? Do you want to be thinking how your life could have turned out if you did things differently? Or do you want to lay there with a big smile on your face telling your family you’ve accomplished everything you ever wanted to do and you have no regrets?
Create the best life you possibly can for yourself, help those around you, fill your life with amazing memories, live to your full potential, live a life you won’t regret when you’re on your death bed.
You only live once, make the most of it!
“Others have seen what is and asked why. I have seen what could be and asked why not” – Pablo Picasso
This isn’t my usual sort of blog post or my normal blogging day but I feel it is needed and it is something some people need to hear, also bare in mind what triggers you is usually what changes you. It being Monday I thought it would be the best day for this post, please take on-board what I have said.
Thank you ever so much for reading and I hope this fired you up and hopefully helped at least one person to do something they didn’t think they could do, if it helped you please leave a like and maybe a comment to give me your opinion, thanks again. I will be back again tomorrow with my normal posts. Ciao!
Okay first off this is going to be a little bit different but it is something I need to get off my chest and it is something I think a lot of people would benefit from knowing, that being said this one is definitely just my opinion but it is one that supported in practice.
People (as a general rule) don’t tend to change for the better without a damn good reason to do so whether it’s someone with a poor attitude, poor mindset or someone who’s overweight, just any bad habit. The don’t change their habits or attitude without a very good reason to do so.
Take someone who’s 30 pounds over weight, they’ve been eating too much for a long time and probably doesn’t do much exercise, they go in for a check up at the doctors and is told that they have very high cholesterol and their heart is having to work very hard to keep them going and if they don’t change their diet by eating a bit cleaner and getting some exercise they’ll almost certainly end up in an early grave. That person then thinks “shit I’ve got to change this” (well not all the time but a lot of people would). But they needed that big reason to push themselves into getting fitter and healthier. That is where they actually start to workout and eat healthier foods to bring their cholesterol down, because they know if they don’t it could kill them.
Or lets say for example, right I’ve been listening to a lot of mindset with muscle podcasts recently and the host Jamie has a lot of guests on it, all of which are very successful people in their industry (usually fitness) and the common thing with almost all of them is they needed a big event to happen before they changed, one was on drugs and its not till he took LSD and had a ‘near death experience’ that he had his epiphany and changed, another went to prison for 4 years and it was only this major event that made him realise he needs to change.
The reason I wrote this article is because of the relevance in my life especially with my friends and their relationships, an example of this is someone I know from college, she had a bf who made her miserable almost every day, had constant arguments with and he was very controlling, it ended when they had a physical fight.. Skip ahead to present day a week later and she’s talking to him again, the response me and her other friends got to this is “oh he’s being really nice, he can change yanno, people do change”… No they don’t, people don’t just change (generally), he’s just being nice so he can get you back and after 2 weeks he’ll be the same guy he’s always been.
But some people just don’t listen, despite being told this by me and 2 other of her close friends she still continues to talk to him so its up to her what she does, nobody can force her to delete him from her life even if we all know that’s the best thing to do. At the end of the day you can’t force someone to do something you have to let them make their mistakes especially when that person is that fixed minded that their is no room for you to work with, anyway I’m going off track.
In summary it usually takes a major event to make someone change for the better, don’t enter manipulative relationships get out of there as soon as possible if you do enter one. And if you want to change something like you want to get in shape then take this idea and give yourself a very strong reason to change like you want to prolong your life or walk your child down the aisle of her wedding, something that is very power and strong with you, this will massively increase the likelihood of you sticking to achieving that goal.
Before I continue to ramble on I better leave this one here so I shall leave you with this:
“Respect yourself enough to walk away from whatever makes you unhappy”
Sorry this is not my usual type of post but it is something I needed to get off my chest and get out their. Massive thank you to everyone who is following my blog, I’ve got myself a little audience who keeps coming back now which is really cool. If you like the content I create please let me know by liking it or leaving a comment to tell me your opinion, it would be greatly appreciated if you do that, I blog at least twice a week so follow me if you want to keep up to date, thanks ever so much again. Catch you on Tuesday. Ciao!